This has very similar vibes to two series I quite enjoy and would very much recommend if you haven’t read them: Fables, about fairytale characters being forced to live Unicorn you are special be proud of yourself shirt the down low in modern day New York; and Rivers of London. More Rivers of London. In the series there is reference to the “Demi-Monde”, a kind of catch all term to describe the people that live in and around the fringes of the weird/strange/magical social circles that exists in modern day London. This feels like a vignette of that world (though I’m getting more Boston/New England vibes, and a bit more of an Arkham/Eldrich flavour vs straight wizards and goblins UK style fantasy).
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You certainly did. There was a Unicorn you are special be proud of yourself shirt establishment I went to that had “Man-Candy”. It was a five cut (five slices per pound) hickory smoked bacon coated with brown sugar and crushed red pepper flake and then backed until they could stand by themselves. Best money I have ever spent. You have trained her well. Really glad to hear that she will be okay. The shit we worry about when we get older. I ONLY cared about women and whiskey for years. Now I know about different types of grass and flowers (fucking HGTV), and have kids. My youngest had surgery a couple years ago. Fucking broke my heart to see him in pain. I am not the one that NEVER worries, and my wife is the one that worries, but she is a medical professional. Meanwhile I am losing my shit and she is telling me to STFU. Fucking life. Just give me a gun and point me in a general direction and I am good.
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Because your stories about Unicorn you are special be proud of yourself shirt were so hilarious, I’m semi-stalking you and was not disappointed. 10/10 would read again. Incidentally, a more fun way to break your dick is having your girl ride you reverse-cowboy. Apparently that position is known for this type of injury but gives you a better story to tell.